I feel like for the last 6 months I have really stopped following some of the rules I had been living by. Doing that got me into a situation that I am very unhappy about. So I decided to write them down for myself to try to remember them. In the process I re-evaluated some of them and added quite a few new ones.

  1. Answer questions honestly, even if they hurt.
  2. Don’t ask questions to which you do not want the answer.
  3. Always ask “why did I do that” before doing it.
  4. Remember to take the costs of actions into account
    • If you are 90% sure that an action is correct, but the cost of being wrong on that path is extremely costly. And you are 10% sure that another action is right, but the cost of taking it is small, perhaps it is better to take the less sure option.
    • Don’t forget about opportunity costs.
  5. Remember there is always a confidence interval.
    • You can’t see all of the variables, there is error on the inputs to your calculations.
      • especially remember to include emotional variables.
    • Your model is wrong, even given perfect inputs, you would be wrong.
    • For big decisions, lean on others to help you.
      • you don’t need to do exactly as they say, but they should be inputs to your model.
  6. Fear is the path to the darkside. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. -Yoda
    • Don’t make decisions from a place of fear, but instead from a place of hope. Don’t act out of hate, instead out of love.
  7. Rules for sex:
    • When inebriated/impaired, you can’t go any farther than you have been prior.
    • You must discuss what happens if she gets pregnant before having sex.
  8. Learn from your mistakes. They suck, if you don’t learn from them, they will suck again.
  9. Be open with your feelings. Bottling them up will not help you. Share them with people you trust, they will help you.
  10. When you love someone, hang onto the things you love. Don’t worry about the things you don’t love, let the good outweigh the bad.
    • Love her for exactly who she is, not for who she could be.
    • Let go of her fitness, that isn’t your job. You think she is beautiful the way she is, be honest with yourself on that.
  11. Walk your dog. Don’t have a dog? Rescue a dog.
  12. No matter how much a relationship hurts, you can’t push the other person away, you can’t ignore it, you can’t bottle it up. You have to talk to them.
  13. Never forget the importance of family and friends.
  14. Let your partner know what you want find out what she wants, then work with her to figure out how you can both get what you need.
  15. Don’t loose sight of your priorities. And remember to consider that the order in which you chase them is a big deal.
  16. Never try to go back, take what you have learned and move forward.
  17. Remember what “success” is to you.
  18. Don’t hold on too tight, it will all slip through your fingers.
    • Don’t be afraid, be measured.
    • Stress does not equate to caring and a lack of stress does not mean you don’t care.
  19. As a child you need to keep your ID in check and as an adult, you need to keep your pride in check. Don’t let them rule you.
  20. If alcohol is so low quality that you wouldn’t pay market price for it, don’t drink it (I’m talking to you grad student events).